I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
