Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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