I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize