I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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