After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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