u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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