Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
