I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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