I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
