He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
