Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
