I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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