imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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