I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you didnt know i had herpes?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
