I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
