i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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