Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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