i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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