dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
