how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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