Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
