The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
