Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
