Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
