Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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