You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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