Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
