"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
