Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
