i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
