You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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