Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
