butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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