Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
