In the future we'll all be gay
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
