fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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