i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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