I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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