Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
