24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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