This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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