To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
