we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
