ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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