Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
