You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
third nipple confirmed
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
