How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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