I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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