ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
