Me too!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
