apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
