This is not my ceiling
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
