I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he shaved USA in his pubs
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
