If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
