laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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