if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
