exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
