it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
home. puking in laundry basket.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
