i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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