Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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