I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
