No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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