My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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